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1. Originality

Drawing from someone's profile, send an opening message someone else hasn't:


If they say they love wine, instead of "What's your go-to wine?" go with something like "Are you a fan of vineyards? I recently went to one in ___ and loved their ___."

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1. Be Vulnerable

Being vulnerable is one of the most important ways to successfully connect with someone, even on dating apps and first dates. For example, instead of just mentioning you had a nice walk with your dog, share why:


"Today's good moment: on our walk, my dog became best friends with the bar manager near where I live. I love seeing how happy he makes people 🐶"

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1. Seize the Opportunity

If the conversation is going well, take the initiative to suggest meeting in person. Confidence and assertiveness are attractive qualities. A good rule of thumb is to ask someone out after exchanging 10 messages or after just a few days of occasional chats. If the connection feels good, don’t wait!

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1. Be Authentic

Don't try to be someone you are not to win someone over. Highlight the aspects of your personality that you shared in your profile, and continue using the storytelling skills described in Building Chemistry above. If you want another date, it's their choice to go out with you again or not—let them base that choice off the real you.

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